wedge
After meeting Qi Bing again, Long Qi walked home groggy.
She felt dizzy, sore and stuffy, and really groggy. In a trance, she heard a voice that gently landed on her hot forehead. The voice told her, "Go to sleep, close your eyes, and we can make it all over again."
one
The pampered Long Qi got a miracle.
When she wakes up one morning, her soft, white, dark-flowered wallpaper peels away like candy wrappers, and the adult world shatters, followed by a recreated high school classroom. She saw that the clothes on her body were a school uniform jacket with sleeves longer than her palms. She could not see the bedroom and was standing at the door of the classroom. She lowered her head, and there was a wooden sill that was not short at the entrance, so be careful of falling.
Step in, look up, yes, the clock hangs there, above the billboard. It's ten past eight, and I'm almost late. Long Qi ran up, and when he passed the students who were standing early to read, he saw their faces that he could still remember. Her seat was in the last row, next to the door, there was no one next to her, Qi Bing was in the front row.
Seeing her hurriedly running, Qi Bing kindly took time out to study, turned around and asked her, "Did Yuan He come to see you yesterday?"
Long Qi found that he was still carrying a schoolbag, and he looked up after he was busy putting it down. Qi Bing was young and handsome, she even wanted to touch his smooth chin. Yuan He, Yuan He hasn't come yet, the seat next to his podium is empty. Long Qi couldn't remember what was going on, so he couldn't answer for a while.
Seeing that she didn't speak, Qi Bing frowned, showing a sense of maturity: "If he asks you to borrow money again, don't give it even if he has it. If he really has something to do, he doesn't need your help as a student."
Oh, come to think of it, it's a second day in high school. Once at the end of the month, Long Qi had no money to buy lunch. Qi Bing's tone was flat, saying that the little princess will have times when she has no money. Long Qi was very frustrated, so he confessed that he had lent Yuan He all the money. He said he was in a hurry.
After listening to Qi Bing and asking her, he didn't even tell you anything in a hurry, right? Long Qi nodded, and finally Qi Bing helped her pay for the meal.
Qi Bing turned back to read, and Long Qi found that she really went back to the past, trying to call Qi Bing's name, only to find that the suppressed choking had made her dumb.
two
After the reappearance of yesterday receded, Long Qi couldn't help but look at Qi Bing. Qi Bing was furious, and couldn't help turning her head to call her, "Why are you always staring at me?"
Long Qi didn't answer, and took a long time to say, "You seem to be afraid of knives."
She said: "I remember a few days ago, Yuan He came to get my utility knife, and you ducked when he passed by."
Qi Bing didn't expect her to talk about this. After a while of silence, she asked her helplessly, "Who isn't afraid of knives? What's the point of paying attention to these?"
Long Qi stopped talking, she traced Qi Bing's profile with her eyes, slipped down from his jawline, and landed on the dark ground that could not be seen clearly. All this was exactly as she remembered, and she could almost hear the sound of fate turning, and she quietly prayed for a correct decision this time.
Yuan He walked over from the other side of the classroom, and for the first time Long Qi felt that he could see his appearance so clearly. She found that Yuan He was a very handsome boy, and she always thought he was gloomy and avoided paying attention to him. Yuan He was very tall, his hair was longer than the average boy, his eyes were long and pointed, and there was a kind of pretense in his eyes.
She and Yuan He seemed to be friends. Long Qi searched for the memory of Yuan He in his mind and remembered the age of sixteen.
Yuan He sat beside the podium, because he always skipped class and was a classmate that a good kid dared not approach. Once, on the slope of the school gate, two thin but fierce-looking boys suddenly came and pulled her over. Mom came very late that day.
They grabbed Long Qi's wrist, and the shorter one yelled at her, "The family is quite rich, can you give me some?"
Long Qi saw a scar on his eyebrows, not knowing how to answer, just stared at the scar.
The skinny boy was staring at her furiously, and reached out to pull her schoolbag. At this time, she saw him take a few steps back, and turned around, oh, my classmate Yuan He walked beside her at some point. Yuan He didn't look at her, the two boys seemed to be afraid of him. What Yuan He told them, she has forgotten.
Just remember her asking, "Wow, how did you drive them away?"
Only then did Yuan He's eyes fall on her, and he said, "Because I fight very hard."
So there was nothing else to say except thank you, she was leaving from the shadow of the slope, but Yuan He stopped her. He suddenly found some fun. His brows were always indifferent, and he said with a smile: "They are going to rob you of your money, right? I saved you, then give me all your money."
Long Qi stood in front of him, and after thinking about it, he didn't think it was wrong, so he handed him his schoolbag and stood there to find all the money on him. Most of the whole red bills and coins for buying sausages were given to him. Yuan He got the money, but a look of confusion appeared on his face. She suddenly felt that he had nothing to fear.
After that, Yuan He often came to play with her, although always in a strange manner, and often asked her to give him money.
Recalling this, other memories seemed to be less clear, so Long Qi stopped thinking about it. She watched Yuan He walk towards her from the front of the classroom, approached and said with a smile, "Do you think I'm in a hurry today?"
Long Qi looked at him and answered in his heart: I always know that you are not in a hurry.
"I lied to you again," Yuan He always told her about himself afterwards, "but our eldest lady takes money very lightly every time."
It's just that every time he deceives people, he is very credible. Long Qi thinks about it, maybe he didn't notice it himself. But Yuan He then said: "Your front table is going to be played in a few days. Why are you still lazy every day? What university do you go to is very important to your family?"
Long Qi's heart skipped a beat. The game, oh, that little competition they thought was just the beginning of Qi Bing's high school game.
three
Long Qi vowed in his heart to let Qi Bing finish the game.
But Qi Bing didn't know what she was thinking, she just thought her state was strange. She couldn't explain it all, she just thought about him. Qi Bing suddenly said, "You don't tell me, but you tell Yuan He."
Yuan He? When did Qi Bing get in touch with Yuan He?
"I didn't tell you," Long Qi couldn't help but say, "I thought you never cared about me and Yuan He."
"There is a girl named Chen Jing in the competition group." Qi Bing didn't look at her, sounding a little angry, "She is Yuan He's cousin, Yuan He always comes to her and tells me about you."
Is Chen Jing Yuan He's younger sister? Never heard him mention it.
Qi Bing suddenly sneered and said, "But I'm your best friend, what is he?" After speaking, he looked at her, as if he wanted a positive answer, and he seemed to already know her answer.
How had she never noticed it before?
"Hey, Qi Bing," she thought about it and asked him, "Did you want me to catch up with you then?"
Since junior high school, Qi Bing has been her closest friend. She used to think that she was the only one who felt that way. It was an afternoon not long after the competition was announced, and she had to ask Qi Bing to take herself to see the model design. Qi Bing found an empty chair so that she could sit next to his seat and watch. Then a girl came in through the door, and later learned that her name was Chen Jing. Yuan He also followed her in, and when he saw Long Qi, he came over.
Long Qi glanced at Qi Bing, he didn't look at them at all, just stared at the design drawings on the screen. She then whispered to Yuan He's words, remembering that Yuan He finally came over and said, "Long Qi, come with me, I'll show you something."
Qi Bing heard their words at this time, and when she turned around, she found that Qi Bing had already packed her things. Qi Bing asked her, "I'm going home, do you want to come with me?"
"Can you wait for me? I want to see Yuan He's stuff."
But Qi Bing just said: "If you don't want to, I'll leave."
What did Yuan He show her? Oh, it's a folded flower, he folded all the banknotes he took from her into flowers. When he took it out, he smiled complacently when he saw her confused expression.
"Why didn't you wait for me then?" Long Qi said, "If you are willing to wait for me, I will go with you."
Qi Bing said, "But if I wait for you and you don't come, what should I do?"
Four
Why can't she come? She would run to him every time, even if those good memories were not dared to recall now.
After peeking at his profile countless times, from elementary school to high school, she gradually got closer, but never walked with him. How could you be so jealous then? She has forgotten.
Chen Jing took the same elective class as her, a courageous and enthusiastic girl. When she was a sophomore in high school, Chen Jing raised her eyebrows at her inexplicably: "Qi Bing is from your class, right? I'm going to participate in this audition with him. I'm going to invite him to a movie after the competition. What do you think of others?"
Why so jealous? Just one glance made her burn, and her mood was still extremely low after returning to the classroom.
Qi Bing has always been a smart boy, and he will definitely go to such an experimental competition. Long Qi has always been selfish and righteous. She has known Qi Bing for so long, so she can have some privileges, right?
After school, Yuan He entangled again as usual. She ignored his trick this time and ran forward to grab Qi Bing's bag strap. Qi Bing turned around and saw her, not surprised.
"Qi Bing," she said, "can you not participate in this competition?"
Qi Bing's expression of patiently listening changed immediately, frowning.
Long Qi insisted, "I don't want you to go."
"You don't want me to go?" Qi Bing paused, "This is not my game alone."
Long Qi glared at him, but there were some imaginary pictures in his heart - how Chen Jing approached him, how to put the popcorn in his hand. Qi Bing was a little irritated by her unreasonable request, and said, "This is my business, and you are not qualified to manage it."
She also realized that she was being unreasonable, and was made even more aggrieved and annoyed. Finally, she loosened the straps of his schoolbag and ran angrily to the front of the teaching building.
She didn't know how Qi Bing reacted, but Yuan He chased after her. The last thing Long Qi knew was to endure the pain, then he turned his back and started to cry. Yuan He was able to catch up with her, and asked tentatively, "Aren't you crying about Qi Bing? He's not so good."
Long Qi snorted and retorted: "No, I've known him for a long time, but you don't know..." Tears came, usually hateful, but occasionally pitiful Yuan He, but it turned out to be a good talk. object.
Long Qi talked about the events of his childhood, and found that Yuan He was the first person who had heard of these past events.
five
Six-year-old Long Qi originally lived in the city. When she opened her car door and saw a strange town, she asked her mother when she was going home. Mom said this is a new home and everything in the house has been moved. What about the former home? Mom said it was sold.
The new home is about the same size as the old one, except that mom doesn't take her out as often anymore. Long Qi went to elementary school, put on a new pink petticoat, and contained a double-layered Barbie stationery in his bag. The children surrounded the boy in front like a flock of birds in a nest. She listened, and was roasted alone and said the first sentence - "I still have a plastic windmill."
When the children heard it, they all turned around and surrounded her. They asked, "Is it not necessary to fold it yourself?" They said, "Bring it to you tomorrow." She thought silently for a while, then agreed. When the teacher came in, the crowd dispersed, and now only the boy in the front seat holding the windmill was left looking at her.
That is Qi Bing, thin and white, and the blue T-shirt on his body is also white. He looked at her blankly, the windmill was in his hand, and there was no wind blowing. He doesn't like me, Long Qi thought. Her eyes had no choice but to look at the boy, but at the windmill. At the center of the windmill is a nail, with yellow rust.
She gradually discovered that Qi Bing's name was the most beautifully written in all workbooks. The straps of his bag vary in height, but his shoulders are always straight. Long Qi, who was in the fourth grade, was a little higher than Qi Bing. He deliberately showed him the numbers on the physical examination form, and he left in a huff.
Qi Bing's grandmother sells fruit across the school gate, and he can often be seen sitting by the stall after school. She didn't get in the car and said she wanted to eat fruit. Mom gave her a fifty-dollar bill, and she ran to the fruit stand, pretending to just buy fruit. Qi Bing helped grandma choose fruits for her. The old man smiled and said, "Little girl, I'll pick some big and sweet ones for you."
Long Qi then laughed, Qi Bing saw her smile, but his face became serious. The next day, he took out two peaches from his schoolbag, gave her some change, and said, "The peaches were given to you by your grandmother, and you forgot to take the money. Our family doesn't need such a subsidy from you."
He didn't even laugh, and Long Qi's joy when he received the peach was overshadowed by his loss.
Qi Bing never wanted to be friends with her, thinking she was a little princess who didn't know the hardships. On the day of her sixth grade graduation, she chased after Qi Bing and asked him where he wanted to go to middle school. Qi Bing didn't answer, and walked forward on his own. His home at the time was under a very steep slope and gravel road. He turned around and told her: "Don't follow down, I won't care if you fall down."
When he heard a scream and turned around, Long Qi had already fallen, the stone cut through her face, and the blood traced a long scar. She was frightened, and the first sentence was: "I feel like I can't open my right eye." But when she saw Qi Bing running towards her in her left eye, she was anxious this time.
"Come on, hurry up, I'll take you to the hospital." Qi Bing grabbed her arm, "If it hurts, bear it for a while."
Long Qi didn't actually feel pain, she only thought about talking to Qi Bing: "I don't feel pain, you always say I'm a little princess, but I'm not."
Qi Bing didn't respond, only asked her to memorize her mother's phone number. When a doctor wiped away the blood and tried to pull her in to suture the wound, she was surprised to find Qi Bing crying. She hadn't even cried yet, so she asked him with a smile, "So, where did you go to high school?"
This was probably the ugliest smile in Long Qi's life, but Qi Bing's expression made her think she was beautiful now. "Just like you," he said.
In order to become Qi Bing's friend, Long Qi spent six years.
six
It was hard to forget that Yuan He was leaning against the door of the empty classroom, the window was setting sun, and the door was oily green. He laughed at her: "Just being a classmate, you are so happy."
Long Qi glared at him, wiped his tears, and continued to talk about his junior high school days.
She said that Qi Bing is very nice and nice to friends, but he just doesn't like to express. The day before she fell and injured her hand, and the day after, Qi Bing had a box of Band-Aids in her schoolbag. Qi Bing always said that she was careless, and she always wrote down important things on post-it notes, and then quietly pasted them on her book cover.
Yuan He's eyes narrowed when he smiled, and the corners of his eyes and the corners of his mouth were pointed, like a gluttonous snake. "You really like him," he said.
Long Qi was taken aback by this, his brows furrowed, unwiped tears streamed down his cheeks, and hurriedly retorted: "I don't like him!"
Yuan He patted the hand that was originally supporting the table, and leaned over to pretend to hug her shoulder. His voice was low: "Liar."
Before she could continue to refute, Yuan He's long eyelashes fanned, maintaining the tone just now: "What's the hurry, he doesn't like you. You left just now, and he left without even looking."
Long Qi felt like crying again, this time with a little anger. Yuan He told her with a half-smile, "You don't want him to go out with Chen Jing. Actually, I have a solution."
"Is there really a way? Wouldn't it be a bad thing?"
"It's only a little bit bad, I promise." Long Qi's entanglement, which he thought but didn't dare to show on his face, pleased him, and he felt that his voice sounded very gentle, "Don't cry now, sir. Miss."
I promise it's only a little bad, all you need to do is small things.
Is it really good to ruin the game? What's wrong with that? It's just a small thing, he still has so many games to play.
Yes, you go talk to him after he puts that model on the podium, as you usually do. Oh, I guess you never noticed, but I do know—every time you got close to him, he would look away and occasionally glance at you out of the corner of his eye, pretending to be indifferent. So we're going to have a smooth run, and you're screwing those parts I'm talking about when he's not paying attention, so when it's time to show, the model is going to break. He will be exhibiting tomorrow, and he will not be able to make new ones in time.
Oh, everything went well, the only imperfection was that when the model broke, the parts popped out heavily and hit Qi Bing on the head. He was probably in pain, so he screamed. Your brows furrowed, and the corner of your mouth twitched again. Gosh, I think you are so interesting, Long Qi.
Until... until Qi Bing held his head and told the teacher that he might need to go to the hospital, the light joy on your face turned into a heavy fear. Qi Bing has hemophilia, I don't know, why don't you know? You are good friends. A blow to the parts caused him to bleed inside his head, and he was taken to the emergency room the same day for suffocation. When the teacher talked about it the next day, you collapsed on the table.
At the time, I was just watching from the sidelines. Just like you never noticed me, Qi Bing never let you approach him, right?
seven
When Long Qi was a teenager, she thought that what she brought to Qi Bing was the best. She tore his clothes, but she bought him a new and better one; she pulled him to ask for homework so he missed the last bus, it doesn't matter, it's much faster to take her car than to take the bus . Only at the beginning, Qi Bing looked at the bus stop sign and said, "Long Qi, I really hate you sometimes."
In fact, how could Qi Bing hate her? Two unfamiliar male classmates mocked Qi Bing for being a poor boy without clothes. They were holding a fluffy peach in their hands: "We also supported your family's big business, don't you thank the client?"
Qi Bing has always been very cold, but at this time he could only be silent. Long Qi has never been such a hero. Her wealthy family and more than ten years of smooth life have made her more powerful than ever. She suddenly inserted herself between the three of them, rushed to grab the peach from the boy's hand, and smashed him hard in the face.
At that time, the classroom was filled with the smell of peaches, as strong as the sunlight outside the window. Teachers, classmates, a group of people gathered around and walked away, and the two boys also left, disheveled. Long Qi wiped the juice on his hands with a tissue, Qi Bing looked at her and said, "Thank you."
"Aren't you angry? I'm reckless again." She replied, "It should be, you bought me breakfast today."
"No, of course not." Qi Bing was silent for a while and told her, "I thought you wouldn't be so nice to me again, I'm always mad at you."
Long Qi thought for a while and said, "I understand you, it doesn't matter."
Because Qi Bing never really hated her, he admitted the next moment: "My mother said, you can't watch things you can't buy, and don't make friends you can't make."
"But you're so nice," he said. "I want to be your friend."
At that moment, Long Qi smiled contentedly and proudly, seeing the sunlight shining on the window glass, he thought it was a shining kiss.
After a while, she put on a pitiful look again, and went to apologize to the good friend: "I'm sorry, I took your book home and it was damaged by the guest's child."
Six-year-old Qi Bing may frown, but sixteen-year-old Qi Bing told her, "It's okay, I have other books."
Long Qi was no longer pitiful, and raised his eyebrows and asked him, "Why aren't you angry?"
"Anything that's only about me," Qi Bing was serious, as if it was a declaration, "I can forgive you."
The days when the desks were next to each other and the steps were on the same footing passed. Qi Bing told the truth for many years. The truth is that he was never really angry with her. Only later, it wasn't just about him anymore.
Eight
Long Qi raised his right hand and crossed his chest countless times, from seventeen to twenty, but this repentance never worked.
Qi Bing's eyes were gray, looking into her useless tears: "You think everyone can take risks like you, right?"
Long Qi could no longer be forgiven, but how could she have imagined that some people's life was a domino array, and that amount of money for emergency treatment would also cause his life to collapse.
She took time off to see Qi Bing, who was out of danger, lying on the sloping hospital bed with white lips. Seeing her come in, his eyes flashed, and he finally showed a happy look. Qi Bing's grandmother was about to go out, she recognized her when she saw her, greeted her to sit down, and then went out again.
Long Qi looked at him and almost cried. She asked, "Why didn't you tell me you had hemophilia?"
Qi Bing laughed: "You don't know magic, so I can't tell you."
Long Qi put the things she bought for him on the cabinet, but Qi Bing rarely refused, and only asked her not to spend her mother's money to give him things.
"If the model wasn't broken, you wouldn't be rescued," Long Qi said.
Qi Bing was silent, and she heard his slight sigh. "I've always had bad luck, maybe," he said.
Long Qi felt the truth hitting her throat, giving birth to a bitterness. But she couldn't say it, and silently promised in her heart how to treat him well, thinking at the time that this would offset the mistake.
Qi Bing looked at her and said after a long while, "Looking at your miserable expression, I was most afraid of you looking at me with pity when I was a child. If I said I was sick, the little princess would think, why are you poor? Weak and pitiful."
Two weeks later, Qi Bing returned to school, and the school days passed like water. Just one month later, even when the senior year of high school was approaching, Qi Bing began to ask for leave frequently. To this day, Long Qi can't tell whether he regrets saying it or whether he regrets not saying it earlier.
She selfishly chose a time not far or near to confess to Qi Bing: "It's me... I destroyed your model, I never thought that you would be rescued, I just... I don't want you to be with Chen Jing. Go to the game. Please forgive me! I'd do anything."
Qi Bing looked at her, her expression from unbelievable to slowly sinking, and finally showed a terrifying ferocity.
"My grandmother had a stroke, and I didn't tell you that." His voice at that time was almost an echo in Long Qi's memory, "The treatment time was delayed, because she was paralyzed because of the lack of money at the time. Guess why Will you be short of money?"
"Because it was used by me to be hospitalized."
Long Qi's eyes were blurred with tears. What Qi Bing said later, she couldn't understand at the time, so she wrote it down and left it to her memory to digest.
When Qi Bing's words fell, Long Qi felt as if he heard a gunshot. There was such a bullet invisibly, and at this moment, it quickly passed through, piercing Qi Bing's eyes, making it difficult for her to see his expression. At the same time, he hatedly found the stone scratches on Long Qi's face that had no traces of scabs, and penetrated all her past years and today with implied affection along the traces.
Qi Bing was sneering, and she heard a deafening "bang".
Nine
But it doesn't matter now, oh my god, it turned out to be a miracle. Long Qi, with her twenty-four-year-old eyes and her seventeen-year-old body, watched the model operate smoothly, and saw Qi Bing's smile after her success. The unprecedented relief brought tears to her eyes.
Qi Bing finally got off the podium and was startled when she saw her crying: "What's the matter, so happy for me?"
Long Qi didn't answer, he just tried to hold back his tears.
Qi Bing sat down, turned to face her, and asked unnaturally: "Are you going to watch my game? It's just tomorrow, it won't take too much time, maybe you need to ask for leave in the morning, you can follow them back in advance. ."
Long Qi was confused by the question. She looked at Qi Bing like he was fake, or someone else.
Do you know Chen Jing? Did you promise to go to the movies with her after the game? But these questions seem to have been answered. Finally she asked, "So, you want me to watch your game?"
Qi Bing was silent, believing she didn't want to: "It doesn't matter if you don't want to go, it's not a big game."
Long Qi cried again, more fiercely than any time he had been begging for his forgiveness. Long Qi answered him silently in his heart: You can participate in the competition this time, and I will go to watch it; it is also good if you promised Chen Jing to go to the movies, so that when grandma suffers a stroke, she will not be short of money. I'm about to grow up, I can make money, and I'll give you a lot of money so that grandma will never be paralyzed.
She felt that she couldn't cry anymore, and Qi Bing's face became blurred in front of her. She fell into a kind of chaos again, and the memory and the years ran away. Long Qi heard himself ask, "Did I go to see him play?" A voice replied, "You went."
Oh, the memory does change. Qi Bing's empty seat turned into a seat with a trophy, and he stood beside him with a blushing face. Qi Bing no longer disappeared after graduation. She saw a light beard growing on his chin, saw him grow into a mature look she had never seen before, and saw him open the door and walk towards her.
"He grew up very well, and nothing happened, did he?"
A voice said, "Yes."
"He's always liked me, right?"
The voice still said, "Yes, everything is as good as you think."
The new memory track covered the original one, and with these brand new memories, Long Qi lost consciousness with satisfaction.
ten
It's not that Long Qi hasn't seen Qi Bing when she grows up, just the day before she returned to the past, opposite the elementary school, downstairs in his grandmother's old house, she had met him.
The color of the sky is the color that the sunset paints on the old house. She parked the car at the company and came to walk this way. When I was a child, I always ran noisily, but now I can only hear the sound of the heels on the ground. Her eyes swept across each house and found a man standing in front of the most familiar one.
She quickly understood that it was Qi Bing, and it turned out that he would come back here. So she stopped across the street, stood behind the old tree, did not dare to move forward, and looked across the street like she was watching a movie.
He was so tall now, wearing a black shirt, looking thin and silent, just as she had imagined. Carrying something, he walked slowly upstairs. She was still staring at the window on that floor until the light came on. He was the only one left in the house now, she had heard from friends.
She even had his number, and Long Qi stood across the street, looking at Qi Bing's lit window, and remembered.
eleven
Long Qi woke up on the bed at home again, dug out the number stored in his mobile phone, and waited to call at an unintentional time. Now she is willing to believe in all miracles, because time has really given her a chance to do it all over again. She has already changed it, and she has never made that mistake that she doesn't know the consequences of. Now she is just a close high school classmate of Qi Bing, eager to tell him how much she once liked him after graduating from college.
Qi Bing's voice came from the other end of the phone, and his voice was so low: "See you tomorrow?"
He said, "I'm packing at my grandmother's house, if you don't mind, come here."
Long Qi asked, "Can I really come?"
She felt Qi Bing was silent, heard him sigh again, and said, "Come on, I haven't seen you for many years."
Long Qi stopped the car across the building and looked in the rearview mirror to practice laughing, but was so nervous that the corners of his mouth couldn't lift. She stepped on the ground with her feet on the ground and walked up the stairs, she clearly had a melody in her heart, but she couldn't say it because of the incomprehensible music theory.
Hey, do you really believe when miracles happen?
The green painted door has been painted for so many years that it has no smell. The lock rang, and Qi Bing stood at the door and looked at her. His face was still what he remembered, more handsome, and those brown eyes looked very deep under the dim yellow corridor lights. Long Qi was reviewing new memories. In the new life, how could Qi Bing have such heavy eyes? Why was he looking at her so probingly?
"Good afternoon, long time no see," she said.
Qi Bing led her into the house, and she had never come in before. Qi Bing brought her a glass of water and explained, "The house is going to be rented out, so I hurried to pack my things, please wait a moment, it will be fine soon."
The house was quiet, and Qi Bing put some small things in the box. And Long Qi couldn't find anything to say, so he went to look at everything in the room, and also looked at Qi Bing.
But her eyes suddenly stopped, stopping on the black utensils folded beside the bookshelf.
"What is that?" she heard herself ask.
Qi Bing heard the sound and followed her line of sight. After a moment of silence, he said, "Grandma's wheelchair."
The moment was short, and Long Qi's brain "buzzed". She suddenly understood a truth that she didn't want to understand all these years: love that is too arrogant is too heavy, and huge mistakes are irreversible. For a person who is doing too well like her, the most important thing to be careful of is the benefits of fate. How can you expect everything to disappear when you have ruined a small half of a person's life?
If there was a miracle, she should have been a less selfish child in the first place.
After Qi Bing answered her question, he stopped what he was doing and looked at her only.
"What else could it be?" he asked.
He saw tears flashing in Long Qi's eyes, but she didn't cry, and finally said, "I seem to have had a dream."
"In the dream, I really got better, I watched you finish the show and you asked me if I wanted to watch you play.
"I dreamed that you didn't go to the hospital, and I dreamed that my grandmother didn't have an accident."
Qi Bing paused for a while, as if her words were incomprehensible.
Looking at the black wheelchair, Long Qi felt that the truth of the whole world was pressing down on him. For a moment, she wanted to run away. She felt herself trembling violently, and she saw something unreal again in a trance. She saw all the beautiful gift boxes beside her, the ribbons still shining brightly, but every box was empty.
Qi Bing stood in front of her, but seemed to be far away from her, so he looked at her from a distance. Qi Bing used to be her favorite gift.
She heard her chaotic breathing, and in the face of this terrible reality, the only way she could find relief was to look up at Qi Bing and say, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know why it was so bad at the time, I really Wish I was never that bad."
Qi Bing seemed to finally understand what she meant, and his voice pulled her back from the illusion.
"Long Qi, the past will not change." Only Qi Bing's eyes changed in time, and his expression changed from accusing at the time to relief, "Only we can change, we should try to let it pass."
"Actually, I have already decided that if you still care, I will forgive you." Qi Bing said, "I thought you would never contact me again, but you called."
After so many years, Long Qi realized that Qi Bing had changed, and the understanding that this finally came almost left her at a loss.
Oh, she dared to call him because she fantasized that it never happened. But Qi Bing is not. He knows that the damage is real, and his invitation is a kind of forgiveness in itself.
Standing in this room full of past and scars, Long Qi wanted to apologize again. But Qi Bing looked at her as if he knew, knew that she never intended to be a bad girl. Finally Qi Bing said, "Let's go."
Where did he say go? Is it parting or go have a drink and talk about something? Long Qi couldn't tell the difference for a while, so he just followed him out of the door obediently, and couldn't help thinking, will there be another meeting?
Qi Bing's voice was firm and meant to sound: "Let's go, we've been here too long."
Repentance is a big dream, and it could have come true. The moment he left here, Long Qi finally admitted that love was never greed, never selfish. In the name of this selfish love, she has brought harm that cannot be erased by fantasies alone.
Leaving this room, Qi Bing led her on a path that truly led to letting go. She followed carefully, hoping that there would be a day when the pain would no longer be felt.
Last updated: October 11, 2022